Speak. The Truth. In Love.

Picture, if you will, a relatively calm Saturday afternoon in the Field household. The children are playing nicely, and I’m able to practice the guitar for church on Sunday.

For context, you should know that I grew up in what most people would call ‘a musical family’. Both my parents could play and sing, and gave us children plenty of encouragement in developing musical gifts. My older siblings became accomplished singers and musicians, and I must admit, being four years their junior meant I was always a little intimidated to develop my own skillset!

This became less of a problem once they emigrated abroad, and so I found myself part of our church’s worship group, and thus you find me happily strumming away in our living room.

I don’t remember feeling particularly bullish about my talents that afternoon, but for whatever reason it was apparently necessary to give my self-confidence a pre-emptive check. One of the songs contained a particularly tricky chord progression. Getting one of the chords wrong resulted in a rather jarring sound, and so after a few failed run-throughs my daughter felt the need to interject. Looking up at me sweetly she questioned with all innocence:

“Daddy, are you not very good at the guitar?”

My four-year-old clearly had the first part of Ephesians 4:15 down pat. She’s always been a truth-speaker, and long may she remain that way. I’m sure she does it in love as well, but the truth still hurt in that instance.

In my Bible, this famous phrase comes in a section of Ephesians 4 entitled ‘Unity in the Body of Christ’. It is written in contrast to those who are ‘children, tossed to and fro by every wind of doctrine’. It’s squarely aimed then, at our language within the church, with other believers.

However it’s such a nice, concise turn of phrase that it’s been applied to just about every interaction we can have with anyone. And in this instance at least, there’s little harm in plucking this wise saying out and embedding it within us. From it we can learn three clear principles.

First: Speak.

This is a tricky one, because the Bible is also full of encouragements to keep your mouth shut. When I was growing up we read through the Proverbs often for our family devotions, so “Even a fool is counted wise if they keep silent” and “In the multitude of words there wants no sin” were often in my mind growing up. Perhaps in this instance we would be best served by looking to Ecclesiastes 3:7 - “There is a time to be silent, and a time to speak.”

Maybe it’s because I’m someone who has a tendency to think of the perfect response around 36 hours after I’ve had a conversation, but I personally find the command to speak a challenging one. And I’d suggest that when it comes to sharing God’s light in a dark world, it would be the same for the majority of Christians today. Apart from a minority who perhaps are more likely to struggle with the latter part of this verse, most of us tend to err on the side of keeping quiet with regards to our faith.

There are plenty of reasons for this, some valid, some not. But my encouragement to you from this verse is this: speak. Given half an opportunity, do your best to shake off the worry of not using exactly the right words. While speaking on Psalm 8 recently, I was amazed by verse 2: “Out of the mouth of babes and infants you have established a stronghold...” If God can use the praise of children to such effect, just think what He can do with your words. So be ready to speak for Him.

Second: The Truth.

I was recently at a conference when someone asked me if I ever taught in church. When I answered that I did, they proceeded to tell me that they didn’t know how anybody could be a teacher of the Word because of how serious the responsibility was. “How can you be sure you’re not getting it wrong?” they asked me.

It’s a sobering thought for sure, and it’s one that should always keep any preacher humble when approaching the pulpit. But of course it would be a tremendous shame if no sermons could be preached for that reason. I wonder where my life would be if I hadn’t had God’s Word explained to me throughout my years by many diligent teachers.

It’s that diligence that I think is so important here. Not just for those who occupy the pulpits, but for those in the pews also, to actually know the truth. Perhaps in years gone by there was a sense in which it was possible to be a Christian who coasts. Our Western culture was not so diametrically opposed to the Bible, that you could get away with it.

That’s certainly not the case today. Not if you actually want to hold to the teachings of Jesus. And it’s such a shame to settle for a ‘pick and choose’ approach to the Word of God. A ‘did God really say’ attitude is where mankind first went wrong after all. The Bible is a guidebook to teach us how to live, not a cookbook for us to pick a few favourite recipes.

And there are so many people out there desperate for this truth. Because the veneer of this life’s broken promises wears off pretty quickly. Those who have hope in this life only are the most miserable. We have to know the truth, because our fellow man needs something other than lies to live.

Third: In Love.

It’s one challenge to get the truth of the Bible into our heads, and it’s another to get it into our hearts. It is a sad fact that many Christians, and even non-Christians, do fill their heads with an awful lot of knowledge about the Scriptures, but without love, it would probably be better if it just stayed there.

When it comes to speaking the truth, this is the perfect place to reference the famous words of 1 Corinthians 13.

When we are speaking the truth, are we patient and kind? Do we envy those who ‘say it better’? Do we boast of our own understanding? Do we make others feel inferior? And when it’s all done, do we resent the others in the conversation?

Speak the Truth in Love. That’s quite the challenge. Which is hardly surprising, after all it forms part of a passage that talks about measuring up to the stature of the fullness of Christ. But in this instance, and in every other, He is our example. Just look at how Jesus spoke while He was on this earth. He amazed rabbis as a twelve-year-old. He answered questions until no one dared ask Him any more. Even when He was dying, He used His words to forgive and care for those around Him.

Wouldn’t you like to speak like Jesus? It’s easy to wish we could walk on water, heal the sick, give sight to the blind. But oh to be able to speak the truth in love like our Saviour could. What would that look like in your life and mine?

And this is not a challenge we have to face alone, for the master wordsmith did not leave us comfortless. We have His Word, and we have His Spirit. Let’s see that we put them to good use in our lives, actions, and words.

Written for First Magazine, published by The Faith Mission